Reports about activities on the previous day:
• Gestern habe ich Frühstück gemacht. Zuerst legte ich zwei Eier in die Fahne... (Yesterday I made breakfast. First I laid two eggs in the flag...) Obviously "Pfanne" (pan) was what was meant.
• Ich ging gestern zu einer Beerdigung. Der Pastor sagte der Familie einige bequeme Wörter, dann war der tote Mann in die Grube gelegen. (I went to a funeral yesterday. The pastor said a few comfortable words to the family, then the dead man was lain in the ditch/hole/pit.) Mistakes here include using "bequem" (comfortable) for "tröstend" (comforting). "Wörter" are individual words, as in a Wörterbuch (dictionary), while words in a speech or sentence are "Worte." The German for "was laid in his grave" should have been "wurde ins Grab gelegt."
• Meine Kinder haben uns Nüsse gefahren. (My children drove us nuts.)
Of course, the risks of mistranslation also apply in the other direction. There is the story (perhaps true) about a German couple riding on a crowded double-decker bus in London. The woman found a seat on the lower level, her husband ended up on the upper deck. The conductor came by to check the tickets. The woman, trying to say: "Der Herr ist oben." (The gentleman is upstairs, i.e., he has the tickets), came up with the English phrase: "The Lord is upstairs."
The same (most likely fictitious) couple later went to their hotel room. If you know any Germans, you also know that they have a very strong aversion to drafts—in rooms, trains, automobiles ("Mach' das Fenster zu, es zieht!"). The woman, noticing this unhealthy condition, called room service and complained: "There is a train in our room! If you don't bring us another ceiling right away, we will undress!"
The next day she wrote a postcard to her neighbor in Germany. The card showed a picture of the hotel, with information about its location "in the outskirts of London." She translated this information for her friend: "Unser Hotel befindet sich in den Außenröcken von London." Later in the day, the hotel clerk asked if everything was all right now. She answered: "Yes, everything is quite one-wall-free!"
If you're not sure about the reasons for the odd sentences above:
• "Zug" means "train" but also "draft" (and much more)
• "Decke" means "blanket" but also "ceiling" (covering)
• "ausziehen" means "to move out" but also "to undress" (with "sich")
• "Rock" means "skirt"
• "einwandfrei" means "perfect" but looks like "one/wall/free"
Now you may wish to try our Too Literal Quiz 1, a self-scoring quiz that lets you match up the English and German versions of some some "too-literal" translations like those above.
Noch eine Zugabe, nur zum Spaß. (One more thing, just for fun.)
Auf einem Aufkleber (bumpersticker) gesehen:
A GROUCHY GERMAN IS A SOUR KRAUT
This feature was contributed by Brigitte Dubiel.
QUIZ > Too Literal Quiz